It's the day when many couples who've endured a strained festive period finally decide enough is enough and start looking into separation.

If you're reading this because you're in that position, you're not alone. But before you assume that court proceedings are the inevitable next step, it's worth knowing that there's often a better way forward: mediation.

What is divorce mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process that allows separating couples to work through their issues with the help of a neutral specialist.

The mediator doesn't impose solutions or take sides. Instead, they facilitate constructive dialogue, helping both parties identify common ground and craft agreements that work for everyone involved. This might cover arrangements for children, division of finances and property, or other practical matters arising from separation.

Crucially, anything discussed during mediation is confidential and cannot later be used in court, creating a safe space for honest conversation.

Does divorce mediation work?

For many couples, mediation can be a better first step than heading straight to court.

You stay in control

Unlike traditional divorce litigation, where a judge makes binding decisions, in mediation, you and your partner decide how issues are resolved. This autonomy often leads to better co-operation from both sides and reduces the risk of long-term resentment, as people are generally more committed to agreements they've helped shape.

It's faster and cheaper

Court proceedings are expensive, time-consuming and emotionally draining. With mediation, many couples manage to reach a resolution in weeks rather than months, making it considerably quicker. Legal fees are also typically lower, making mediation a more cost-effective solution for many couples.

It can preserve relationships

The mediation process provides space to explore whether problems can be addressed and whether reconciliation is possible. In fact, not every couple that begins mediation ends up separating at the end of it. 

Even if separation proves inevitable, mediation can help you part ways more amicably. Divorce litigation can be combative by nature, which is particularly damaging if you'll need to maintain some form of relationship with your ex-partner going forward, such as when children are involved. By contrast, mediation encourages respectful communication and problem-solving, which can be vital for moving forward without bitterness.

Is divorce mediation right for everyone?

While mediation can offer significant advantages over traditional litigation, it's not suitable in every situation, as both parties must agree to take part and be willing to engage constructively. Mediation may not be appropriate where there are concerns about domestic abuse, coercion, or a significant power imbalance between partners.

The role of solicitors in divorce mediation

It's important to understand that while mediators facilitate discussion, they do not provide legal advice. Therefore, solicitors still play a vital role throughout the process.

A good family solicitor will help you assess whether mediation is suitable, support you in selecting an accredited mediator, and ensure you fully understand your legal rights before entering discussions. This preparation is crucial, as you need to know what you're entitled to and what compromises are reasonable.

After an agreement is reached through mediation, your solicitor will formalise the arrangements in legally binding terms. This ensures that what you've agreed upon is properly documented and enforceable, giving both parties security and clarity going forward.

Courts encourage divorce mediation

Mediation is increasingly becoming the Scottish courts’ preferred first step for family disputes, as judges recognise that collaborative resolution tends to produce better long-term outcomes than adversarial proceedings.

The earlier mediation is considered - before positions harden and the court becomes involved - the better the prospects for constructive resolution. Once litigation begins, couples often become entrenched in their positions, making compromise more difficult.

Taking the first step

If you've had a difficult Christmas and are considering separation in 2026, it's natural to feel overwhelmed. While the beginning of a new year can feel like the right time to make changes, it's worth pausing before rushing into court action.

Mediation offers a more constructive path forward for many couples. Even if you ultimately decide that court proceedings are necessary, attempting mediation first demonstrates good faith and may be looked upon favourably by a judge should matters escalate.

Going through a separation is never easy, but approaching it with the right support and through the right channels can make a difficult situation significantly more manageable.

If you're facing relationship difficulties and would like to discuss your options, including mediation, get in touch with our family law team. We're here to help you find the best way forward.